Teens Trying to Conceive (TTC)

Why This Advice?

It seems like every forum I visit is pool full of young girls wanting to get pregnant and have children. Some of them have their boyfriend's support, and some are trying to trick them. Some have a plan to afford a child (usually involving social assistance), and some just think their parents will take care of their children for them. Whatever the case, it seems to be spiraling out of control, and I for one don't want to be paying taxes to support a 12 year old girl who pokes holes in her boyfriends condom, to get pregnant and plans to live off of welfare her entire life. And yes, it does happen more often than I like to hear about.

Teens TTC (10-18 Years Old)

I'm not going to sugar-coat this girls (and boys)... You are too young to TRY to get pregnant and have a child. Yes I said child. Not baby, not play-toy, not dolly, not sibling. A child. Perhaps you don't think that a child is difficult to care for - after all you have practically raised your younger siblings, and had a terribly rough life, so you think that you know what you are getting yourself into. I know that you don't know. Most fully grown adults with education, careers, and a lifetime of experience are not prepared for the responsibilities that accompany a child - why would you be?

The Financial Cost of Raising A Child

Being a parent is more than just hugs and giggles, love and joy. It is expensive. A baby alone costs thousands of dollars/year. Before TTC at a young age prepare a list, and then make sure you can provide each item on the list:

Basic baby furniture: crib, carseat, stroller
Clothes. Baby's grow fast and even used clothing can become expensive
Food. You must be able to feed this child you are bringing into the world. Breast is best for the first 6 months, but what if that doesn't work for you - there is formula and nutritious foods once baby is 6 months old
Diapers - disposable or cloth, they both cost alot of money
Living expenses, can you afford to put a roof over yours and your child's head? Your parents are just that. Your parents and should NOT be responsible for raising a child that YOU CHOSE to create
Daycare expenses, to afford everything else, you will have to work, which means the child will have to go to daycare... can you afford this expense?
Sickness: Your child could be born handicapped or with an illness that needs special care and/or medication. How will you pay for it?

The Physical & Emotional Cost of Raising A Child

Financial cost is only one part of the equation, having a baby (not to mention a child) is a physically and emotionally challenging job that continues day after day, year after year. A few examples:

During pregnancy your body goes through many physical changes. Your body may always announce the pride of carrying the child through stretch marks, linea nigra, and larger breasts. It is very difficult to predict the changes your body will encounter and many adults are not prepared for the physical changes that they experience.
During the newborn months sleep is rare, and it is exhausting tending to a needing, clingy, little baby, who may not go to anyone else, and who may cry constantly. Try balancing this life with school and work, and you have one severely undernourished, sleep deprived mother, who may be capable of anything at this stressful time.
Even as your child grows the physical demands are there. There is a need to still balance work, school, and home life with baby, as well as household chores, and finding sometime in their to sleep. It is utterly exhausting and my bet is that most of you still enjoy sleeping to noon - but as a mom you can totally forget that option.
Hormones: Don't even get me started. Throughout pregnancy, post pregnancy, your entire adult life you will be a crazy, hormonal woman. Some people can handle it, some can't. Add a baby to the mix, and you've got a messy situation.
Birth Defects: What happens if your cute cuddly little baby is born with Down's Syndrome? What about other mental or physical handicaps. Most adults can not handle that situation.
Miscarriage, Still Birth, Premature Birth: Young girls are more likely to miscarry or experience a still birth than grown adults. What if that is you? What about pre-mature birth and hospitalisation?
Single Parenting: Can you handle this alone? Your parents could disown you, and your boyfriend walk off (especially if you tried to trap him). Can you do everything listed alone?
Social Life and "You Time": Yep, it all goes out the window. You'll be lucky to have a peaceful shower... let alone get to party and and take long bubble baths.

What A Hypocrit!

Believe it or not, most young parents do NOT plan to become young parents, but mistakes are made to create miracles, and accidents happen. One Young Parent supports those who are already young parents or parents-to-be. We DO NOT encourage teens trying to conceive. Should you make your choice and wind up pregnant, One Young Parent will still support, encourage, and care for you and your child. But please, think about your choice before you rush into anything.

So Do You Still Think You Are Prepared?

If you can honestly answer each point with a reasonable way to support yourself and child - without relying on ANYONE for anything, including the child-to-be's father, than I apologise, because apparently you may be ready to be a young parent. HOWEVER, should you have to rely on anyone (including social assistance) for any aspect, please reconsider your choice. You have decades to get pregnant and raise a family, and I know that you are thinking about now, it seems like you have to do it right away... but that just proves you are not ready. Thinking about only now and how you want one now, proves that you are selfish. You are unwilling to put the child first and consider that child's wellbeing. The number one priority for a parent is their child. Not themselves or anyone else. Their child. Start thinking about your future children and wait. Give them the life that they deserve.